Movies a la Dracula
by oblivious2theworld
Summary: Twoshot based on Rob Thurman's Nightlife series. Robin & Cal go to see a movie. There's plenty of people, not all of the human variety. When they get back Niko has a job for Cal. Might update.
1. Chapter 1

**Movies a la Dracula **

A/N: This is just a scene I thought might make a good oneshot. I hope you guys enjoy it and show that joy through lots of reviews. Oh, and just a warning: there are some monsters in this closet.

"No."

I shot Robin an 'I told you so' look that he politely responded to with a kick to my knee. "Why not?" he asked Niko. "What could you have to do that would be more fun than going to see a movie with us?" I could almost hear him add one of the comments that were sure to have been running through his head since I told him the idea. Apparently Niko could too.

"Goodfellow I can think of a multitude of things I would enjoy more than sitting next to you for two hours in a dark room. And the fact that it would be filled with hormonal, 'love-sick' teenagers and shadowy corners perfect for your everyday monster foes to be hiding in just strengthens my decision."

I was tempted to ask Niko which he considered to be the lesser of evils between those three points, but was enjoying not being the one he was lecturing right then. "Well, I guess that's settled. Loman, you owe me five dollars and Cyrano, I'll be back in time for our job tonight." With that being said, I grabbed a few extra of my deadly toys to take with me, stuffed them under my jacket, and headed for the door with five dollars in my pocket. Goodfellow followed me out, still trying to persuade Niko, who was holding his ground like a stone wall.

Before I could close the door behind us Niko grabbed a handful of my shirt to hold me back and told me to be home by eight. I agreed without arguing, knowing that the reason for the early curfew had something to do with my tardiness that had been getting us into trouble lately. Last time he told me to be home for a job we were half an hour late. In any normal New Yorker's life half an hour wouldn't make much difference; _everyone_ was late due to the traffic, but we don't live normal lives. For us, being late meant arriving to our destination right before dinner for twelve very hungry monsters. We left with only a few cuts and scrapes but Niko made a point of being on time from then on. Not that he hadn't before then, but now we always, _always_ got there a few minutes early, no exceptions.

Niko released my shirt and I slipped into the hallway. Robin was heading down the stairs to the lobby when I caught up with him, and he was grumbling that it's our fault he got into the habit of using the stairs, which in turn took away the luxury of elevators. He could complain all he wanted, I wasn't listening. I'd learned long ago that when Robin was complaining just let him keep going till he stopped, or he never would. When we got about seven blocks away from the apartment I joined in with my own grumblings as the rain that had been sprinkling lightly for the last few minutes began to pour down in sheets. We sped up and made our way over to the subway station that had been placed so conveniently a couple yards away. Once inside that I quickly forgot my irritation when Robin started yelling about his ruined shirt. At least I think that is what it was about. He only used three or four English words in all, but he got the point across nonetheless. I moved a few steps away from him to look out the window once the heads started turning our way. I hummed to myself quietly, but stopped abruptly in surprise. _Since when did I hum? _I tried to forget about it the instant I remembered: _Darkling. Darkling loved to hum, sing, anything musical. That was one thing he and his horrible sisters had in common. _The bus stopped then and I got off with Robin. He noticed that I was quiet and tried to getting me talking. "So, kid—"

I tried to hit him but he ducked it, and gave up, knowing that he was quicker than me. "Don't call me kid."

"Sorry," he said sarcastically. "So, sir what job is it you and Niko are doing tonight?"

"Some guy, a mythology professor I think, let a brownie live in his house, thinking it was 'a really interesting creature'." Robin laughed quietly.

"They never learn. Let me guess, the brownie suddenly got a temper?"

"Yep," I said eloquently, nodding. "And now we get to deal with the job of getting rid of the Bogart. I hope Niko got a good price for this one; those things are stubborn."

"Cal, they are extremely easy to kill," Robin said, on the verge of sounding patronizing.

"Yes," I said, finishing his thought. "They're really, really simple things to kill, but to kill you must first catch and capture. That is the exact opposite of extremely easy."

Inside the theatre we went straight to the snack and drink thing standing in the middle. When we got to the front of the line I promptly order nachos with extra cheese, a large soda, and some M&Ms. I asked Robin if he wanted the same and he gave me a rather disturbed look. "Caliban I hate to tell you this but your brother is right. You should seriously start eating better." Turning to the cashier, "One bottled water please."

"Oh Robin, I didn't realize you cared about my health so much. I'm touched," I said, my sarcasm well-hidden from years of experience was caught only by the puck. Oh well, I guess he does have a few years of practice more than me to claim as his own.

"I could care less about your health; even if it does ruin your figure and kill you faster than even the Auphe could hope. I simply wish I didn't have to witness it first-hand; you're ruining my appetite. Now go on to theatre seven; I don't want to get bad seats." I shook my head and turned to the left, where the ticket-counter attendee said room 7 would be. Inside I looked at my wrist and, remembering I didn't own a watch, gazed at the empty, and then finally turned to Goodfellow. "You were worried about there not being seats? We're early!"

"Yes we are. I knew you were bound to make us late, so I made sure we would be early." I let it go; he was probably right.

As we slid into our seats I realized that Robin never told me what movie he got us tickets to. Glancing around the room for any threats, I asked him about it. His wicked grin made me pay less attention to the room and focus closer on the puck. "Well?" I asked impatiently.

"Don't worry little Ninja Jr. I'm not making you see anything that's rated based on its 'mature content' or anything. Not today at least. No, today we're seeing a classic." I looked at him curiously and he elaborated. "This theatre apparently only shows really old films. The original horror movies. I just thought I should make sure they got Dracula's character right. He'd be mortified if the producers warped his story in any way. They do that so often." He sighed and looked up at the screen.

"Wait, you're serious? We're seeing Count Dracula?" At his nod I laughed. "Why?"

"As I said he deserves to get his story told correctly. Now be silent, people are trying to enjoy the movie," he said quietly.

"It hasn't started yet!" I whispered back.

"It's about to." I huffed and sat back in the squeaky chair. After a few minutes of watching the dancing bags of popcorn and candy, I resumed my study of the room and its occupants._ "No, that can't be right." _I looked around again. "_Apparently it is."_

Just as I was about to say something to Robin, positive that he _must_ have noticed, the movie started, playing some old song that's purpose was to be creepy. It succeeded only because of what I saw were all around me. Imagining I felt a clawed, scaly hand on my shoulder, I shuddered even though I knew it wasn't actually there.

On most occasions, monsters don't bother me. After all, I know I could win a fight against them any day, and even if I couldn't, Niko could. It was simple facts, and good logic; I always kept it in mind when confronting a monster. But for some reason I couldn't care less about those facts right at that moment. For at that moment I was sitting in a small, dark, closed room, mere steps away from roughly forty different monsters and my big brother wasn't there. Robin was, and that was some consolation but not enough to calm my now twitching right index finger.

"_Okay Cal it's time for you to chill out,"_ I told myself, knowing I was sounding crazy. I looked around again, hoping to be able to label at least a few of the creatures in the room. "_Or death trap," _I thought. "_No! It's just a room. Albeit a room full of monsters, but still just a room." _

My final roster was four vampires, thirteen werewolves, two Amadán, two revenants, and about fifteen others I couldn't name. If only Niko had said yes to coming with us. He would have known all their names. I'm sure he could've also told you where they came from, what they ate, their mating habits, if they despised humans, etc.

I slouched down a bit further in my chair and tried to watch the movie. There was no way I'd be able to relax but maybe I could at least calm down a little. That hope went down the drain however about half an hour into the movie when some of the werewolves started fighting. Fur wasn't flying yet but it sounded like it would be soon. Time to hit the road.

"Hey Robin?" I whispered as quietly as I possibly could. All I got was a half-raised eyebrow in response. "Loman!"

"What?" He snapped silently, not really annoyed.

"I think it's time for us to leave," I muttered.

"What? Why?" Now I got two eyebrows up.

"Come on. We're going." He glanced at me, saw I was serious, and glanced around subtly. Seeing the object to my discomfort he nodded slightly, obviously reluctant to go, and got up. I followed suit and we half-crouched, half-walked up the aisle. Even when we pushed to door open, bringing light into the room, we only got a few sidelong glances. I sighed heavily once we reached the sidewalk and was tempted to lean against the wall and take a few deep breaths. One look at the wall though and I decided against. Niko would not be pleased if my jacket got ruined by a mold covered wall. "You know," Goodfellow started thoughtfully after a few blocks. "Even if they did start fighting, we probably wouldn't have been dragged into it."

"No, probably not, but I didn't feel like taking that gamble." He nodded silently, most likely lost in thoughts about Dracula. "And by the way, what was with not mentioning it was Monster Movie Night at the theatre?"

"Honestly Caliban, you'd think that by now you would have realized that there is just about everything for monsters to do in New York. They have their own bars, restaurants, banks, parks, everything. Movie theatres included."

"You still could have told me, you know, just to give me a slight forewarning."

"Ah but where is the fun in that? If I had told you I wouldn't have gotten the entertainment that I did in watching you turn nine shades of white. I didn't know it was possible."

"Hmph," I grumbled and stalked off ahead of him. He caught up easily and had the grace to keep the laughter on the inside.

After a few minutes I caught him looking at me carefully, making sure I really was okay. It's funny how even though Niko wasn't there, I still had a big brother of sorts to look out for me. _"Not that it matters to me either way,"_ I thought and picked up the pace. I could've sworn I saw Robin shake his head before taking up the position behind me, all in a very Niko-ish manner.

And with that I accepted the silent command to watch for any threats coming at us from the front. That was the point to walking one in front of the other; you knew what was coming at you from all sides. I guess it wasn't too bad having Robin there.

After a couple more blocks he began to complain once again. This time it was about not being able to finish his movie. "Shut up, Loman."

"Stop calling me Loman," he said, agitated.

"Shut up, sir," I said, grinning. "When we get to the apartment maybe we can try to talk Niko into renting it."

"Oh alright." He sighed dramatically. "It's just not the same though."

"Well maybe Niko would watch it with us," I said, wondering if he really would. "Would that make up for it?"

He didn't answer but I could practically hear him grin. We kept walking.


	2. Mr Grandpa

"You're back early; did something happen

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

A/N: I know I said this was an oneshot, but when reading over it, I decided to update at least once more. I 'm not promising to make this a story with regular updates or anything, but here's this at least. In the first part of this story I believe I mentioned a brownie; any info I wrote about that was based off of movies and the internet. As for any street, place, or info on monsters I mention here, it is either completely made up or, in the case of the monster info, based off of the internet. I apologize if I offend anyone with my lack of knowledge, making me somewhat resemble Cal. The end. Or well, beginning I suppose.

**Movies a la Dracula- Part II**

"You're back early; did something happen?" Niko asked me calmly from the kitchen table where he was reading the paper. I walked past him, taking my time answering, and into my bedroom. I slipped off my jacket and unbuckled and unlatched all my weapons one by one from their various positions. It was as I was trying to undo a buckle from the middle of my back that Niko stepped in silently. I could hear the television on in the living room and assumed Robin was staying for a while.

Nik took the knife down from my back with a well-practiced ease as I detached my gun holster from my waist. I ran my fingers over it once before setting it down in the small pile that had formed. I thought back to when I got that gun. It had been on my birthday a year or two ago; a present from Niko.

_I awoke at the feel of a sharp slap on my head that was expertly angled to hit a nerve in my skull. I twitched, annoyed, and flopped over on my other side. "No Cal. Don't go back to sleep; you have to get up."_

"_Why? It's too early, Nik, come back in about…" And I drifted off. "Ouch!" There was that nerve again. _

"_I told you not to go back to sleep," I heard my brother say, and the amusement could only be vaguely detected. I sighed in defeat and, rolling over again, sat up. Or more accurately, rolled over and fell straight to the floor. I gasped as the breath was knocked out of me and my previously-closed eyes flew open. I heard a snort from somewhere up above my head and glared at Niko. _

_He obligingly offered me a hand and hauled me to my feet. "Well, now that we are all awake," He stopped to chuckle once. "Would you like to open your present?" Oh, well that explains why he's acting almost carefree. I followed him out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, sitting at the table where my present was neatly wrapped. "Happy birthday brother," Niko said handing me a bowl of oatmeal with a candle stuck in the middle._

_As I ripped open the package, and saw the nice, pretty gun I didn't even complain about his idea of a birthday meal. I grinned at him and actually tried a bite of the stuff, still holding my new toy in one hand. It was even worse than it looked. "Thanks."_

"Cal?" I heard Nik say and got the feeling it wasn't the first time by the annoyed look in his eye.

"What?" I asked, clearing away the memory and focusing on the here-and-now.

"Why were you two home so early?" he asked exasperatedly and led me into the living room. Robin, unfortunately, was still there and decided to answer for me.

"Poor young Caliban here made us leave. The big scary monsters were just too much for him." Niko raised his eyebrow quizzically, and silently told Loman to drop the sarcasm and explain. It's scary how good I've gotten at reading those looks.

"I took Cal to the theatre over on Salem Ave." Goodfellow said as if that explained it all. Which it apparently did, judging from the look on Nik's face.

"Ah," Niko said quietly. "And I assume he wasn't aware of its usual occupants." Robin shook his head, grinning mischievously. "Did anything go wrong?"

I decided it was my turn to talk. "Nothing happened really. There was just a small fight between some werewolves and we decided to get out before it turned serious." Niko nodded thoughtfully.

"I suppose now we have time to kill before we need to get going." We all looked up at the wall clock; it was just now seven o'clock. "Goodfellow, will you be staying for dinner?"

"As long as Cal isn't the one to cook it." I threw my shoe at him on the way to kitchen but Niko deflected it, before it could cause damage to the apartment, no doubt. After Niko had placed some kind of gross-looking veggie lasagna in the oven, we all sat around the table and Nik resumed his paper. Robin pulled out a comb and began messing with his hair as he asked, "So Cal, you said it was a Bogart you two are hunting tonight, correct?"

"Yeah, it'll be fun," I said with false cheerfulness. Niko didn't even grace me with a raised eyebrow.

"Do you know anything about them?" Goodfellow asked doubtfully.

"Yeah, sure. Niko does anyway," I amended. Goodfellow shook his head slowly. I could've sworn I heard him say something involving 'unknowledgeable child' and 'pitiful'. "I'm kidding. I know enough to get by on at least." _What made him think he was allowed to doubt my ability to do research…?_

"So you know that even though the internet says they are the same thing as boggles, they really aren't? And that in reality, they're just distant relatives to the boggles? Therefore making any way of killing a boggle useless on a Bogart?" he quizzed, testing the truth behind my statement.

"Yeah, sure I do…" I said nonchalantly looking anywhere but at Robin or my brother, both of whom were enjoying watching me squirm.

The oven buzzed just then and I slumped down in my chair, half out of relief and half out of dread for what Niko was now pulling out of the oven. "Saved by the bell," he said quietly, turning off the buzzer. I watched as he dumped a larger than necessary piece of lasagna on three plates and brought them to the table with some forks.

"Niko," I said pleadingly. "I promise it won't take me long; it is right at the corner of the block. They depend on my business to stay running; please!"

"Quit whining, Cal," Niko reprimanded. "You will not waste money on a chili-cheese dog when we have perfectly healthy food right here."

"Yes, but Nik 'perfectly healthy' isn't really the top priority in food for most people. 'Tasting edible' however…"

"And you actually think the greasy garbage you prefer can be counted as edible?" he retorted in a very un-Niko-like manner.

By this point Robin was unable to hold in his amusement. "Would you two shut up already?" he said, laughing. "Wow. You know, I have tried in the past to imagine Niko bickering with you, Cal, but never were able to. I didn't think it was a manageable feat for him to act his age, but finally I've had the pleasure to witness Niko act like a regular person."

"What are you going on about, Goodfellow?" Niko asked in annoyance. Robin just shook his head, still chuckling, and took his plate to the sink. As he was dumping the full plate of lasagna I could have sworn I heard him say "And there you are ladies and gentlemen: Niko Leandros. He really _is_ just a _regular_ guy, able to fight with his brother like a _regular_ person. No samurais necessary. I believe a round of applause is in order."

Following Robin's example, I started toward the garbage disposal but Niko stopped me and pointed at my chair silently. I sighed and flopped back down. By the time I had choked down enough 'food' to satisfy my brother, Robin had made himself comfortable on the coach with a bottle of water and the remote control and Niko, in his bedroom with the door open, was down to only two or three weapons that needed to be stashed somewhere on his person. Just as I was about to suggest leaving those few at home Nik somehow, _impossibly_, managed to tie a knife to each wrist and a pistol _to the side of his foot_. I let out a small gust of amazed, and slightly amused, air.

Getting up, I headed over to where Niko was standing by his bed, slipping on his long coat. "Hey Cyrano, did you save any deadly toys for me?"

Ignoring the chance to reprimand me for considering the weapons 'toys', Niko nodded and pointed to his closet, a.k.a our sword-knife-and-all-things-sharp jackpot. After grabbing a select few I left and went to my room. From under the bed I pulled out one of the guns I had stored there and did the same from the closet and dresser. _You never can have too many weapons. _Looking around distractedly I called out in Niko's general direction, "Nik? Hey Niko!"

"What Cal?" he said calmly, if a bit exasperatedly as he came into the room. Grinning sheepishly I said at a normal volume, "Do you know where my coat is?"

"I'm sure what you meant to say is 'Do you know where I irresponsibly threw my coat down the last time I was finished wearing it?' Right? I put it in your closet."

"No you didn't; I already checked in there… See, nothing here," I said, flinging the doors open to show him. He stepped closer, eying the pile of discarded clothes on the floor in distaste then looking up to the almost-empty clothes rods pointedly. All that was on those were the few things Niko had put away for me… _Oh. There it is._ Niko stepped back again, looking satisfied. "Come out to the living room once you put your shoes on. You can deal with hanging your clothes up when we get back; there isn't enough time now." He walked out and I sat on the bed with a scowl creasing my forehead and a shoe occupying my hands.

Out in the living room I slipped my coat on and checked once more to see if all my guns and knives were still in place and secure. Niko was on the phone with Promise, probably to find out if she had obtained any more useful information about our next job. Apparently she had. "And you are sure that's all it takes?" he asked her, looking a bit more relaxed about this whole gig.

I looked over at Robin, who was also listening, and raised my eyebrows in question. He shrugged and turned back to listen to Niko's conversation. Niko hung up a moment later and slid his cell phone in his pocket. "Time to go, Cal. Do you have all your stuff?"

I nodded and waved goodbye to Robin. He nodded in acknowledgement and pressed play on whatever movie he was watching. As we walked toward the door I asked Niko what Promise had told him.

Closing the door behind us and starting down the stairs he answered, "All we have to do to get rid of thing is to drown it. Actually we don't even have to do that. Just get it completely wet, she said, and it will mellow out. Then tell it to leave the guy who called us alone; it will leave and not come back."

"Seriously? That's all it takes? Hopefully that won't reflect on how much he decides to pay us."

"I'll make it clear to him that it shouldn't." I grinned at the very Zen, Niko-ish way he said it.

When I saw the guy's house my worries of underpayment subsided. This professor was, by what I could tell, very well off. I stepped back as Niko knocked on the front door. I had learned that our little business went better if I became a silent figure in the background when it came to talking to customers. It appears that I wasn't exactly the most… eloquent person when it came to first impressions.

A man about sixty with brown, fading to gray hair and a thoughtful, scholarly look about him answered the door. He let us in and shook Niko's hand. Turning to me, he reached out his hand again. A bit startled, I shook it and took the seat he offered. I was kind of disconcerted; normally when I wanted to fade away I was more successful at it. Surprising me yet again, the grandfatherly man smiled and said in a quiet voice, "Hello, my name is Mr. Alvin Greenliy. I've never been very good at ignoring people; I find them just too fascinating to overlook." I swear if right at that moment ten or twenty little kids ran in, yelling 'Grandpa!' I wouldn't have been that shocked; this guy just looked like some Hallmark ad for family.

Even Niko seemed a little off as he cleared his throat and waited for the man to turn back to him. "Sir, we are here about the… the Bogart?" He phrased it as a question and Mr. Grandpa nodded. "Well it shouldn't take us long to get him out of here, so we'll get started. Can you tell us where you last saw him, Mr. Greenliy?"

"Oh sure, just follow me. I heard him rummaging around in the guest bedroom about a half hour ago." He led us down the hall and opened the door to a spacious light green room with a queen size bed by the window. From the closet the faint sounds of destruction could be heard. Niko and I started into the doorway of the room but before we could get farther than a few steps Mr. Grandpa spoke up hesitantly. "Excuse me, boys, can you wait just a minute?"

We both turned to face him and I started talking before Niko could get a word in. "Mr. Gra- eenliy, I'm afraid we need to get started. If we wait much longer, he may move on to a different room."

Mr. Grandpa stepped into the room as well and said persistently, "I understand, but well, can I please have a moment to say goodbye?" At our confused looks he continued. "I know Bogarts are major nuisances, and this one isn't any different, but the little guy has kind of grown on me in the past few weeks…" He looked to Niko hopefully. _'The little guy'_; seriously?

Niko nodded once, almost jerkily and turned sideways to let Mr. Grandpa past. "All I ask is that you please don't open the closet door; just talk to him from in here so he doesn't escape. We'll be waiting right out in the hall." Niko motioned to me and we stepped just past the doorframe of the guest room.

From there we could here the crazy old man start his goodbye. "Hey there Gilbert. Can you hear me in there? I know we've had some fun times together in this old house, but it is time for you to go. I hope you don't take this too hard, it's nothing personal…"

Niko cleared his throat once again, and he had a slight glint in his eye. To keep from laughing I began a conversation, not meeting his eyes as I talked. "So how are we going to do this?"

Niko thought about it for a second then said, "Come with me; I have an idea." He led me down the hall a few feet, into the bathroom, and gave me instructions. "Wait here while I go get some bowls. Grab any towels you can find in here that aren't too expensive, just in case… _Gilbert_… puts up a fight." He left the room, as silent as air and I sifted through the cabinets, grabbing towels.

When Nik came back he had six large mixing bowls in his hands. "Let's start filling these up. He has two sinks in here, so we won't bother with the bathtub."

As we were filling up the last of the bowls I looked over at Niko, carefully avoiding the mirror as I did so, and asked him, "So what are the towels for?"

Picking up his half of the bowls, he motioned for me to do the same. As we walked slowly down the hall, carefully not spilling any water, he answered my question, sounding a little exasperated. "Well little brother, when you throw buckets of water at something the water tends to hit other things too. So we will open the closet door carefully, set blankets around the Bogart, wait for it to start shredding them, and dose it in water. Once the water takes affect, which should be immediately, we'll tell Gilbert that it's time to go. The blankets will be both a distraction and a way to shorten the clean-up process."

Once we stepped into the room, Mr. Grandpa left, looking sad and miserable. We offered reluctantly for him to stay, but he opted not to watch. He told us he'd be waiting with our money in the living room.

The job went exactly as Niko and I planned and the Bogart left looking confused and wet. We made sure that he went through the back door so no one would see him, but also so he wouldn't be going through the living room where Mr. Grandpa would see him. That, once we were sure he was gone, was where we went. Mr. Grandpa was waiting for us, just as he said, with our money. He thanked us and we left. On our way out the front door we heard some sad, slow oldies band playing in the background. I didn't look back once.

When we were safely on the bus headed home Niko relaxed a little and stretched his arms, staying ever-alert. "I glad to be done with that job," he said. "I don't see how someone could get so attached to a nuisance."

I didn't say anything about it until later, when we were back at the apartment and Robin was trying to get a show of annoyance out of Niko. He should have given up; I tried that all the time and Niko always won, but Robin was Robin. "I don't know, Nik. It seems like there are always nuisances and annoyances around. Mr. Grandpa, or Greenliy, whatever; he just happened to accept his little annoyance and I guess somewhere along the way got too attached to make it leave." A moment later I added, "Sounds a little familiar to me."

"I may not completely know what you two were talking about, Caliban, but I get the feeling I was just compared to a Bogart and I don't appreciate it!" Robin said indignantly.

"No of course not, Goodfellow. _Cal_," he emphasized, having noticed Robin's use of my full name. "was just comparing you to someone we met today. His name was Gilbert. And yes, I guess you're right," he said, glancing my way. "But don't let it get to your head; it doesn't happen much." I grinned. Robin looked back and forth between us then huffed and looked back at the T.V., fed up with the both of us.


End file.
